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 Post subject: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2022 8:00 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:13 pm
Location: Stamford, CT
Many of you know I'm a teacher. I've been teaching for 17 years. I used to love teaching. I used to be excited every day.

Lately, it's been getting harder and harder in the worst possible ways.

The students are out of control. No, it's not cause of Covid, it's because of crappy parenting, and the parents are out of control.

Examples:

Today, for some reason the fire alarm went off 12 minutes before school dismissed. So I grabbed my evac folder and took my kids out. Policy is that kids are to exit quickly and quietly. Well, two students didn't feel like being quiet. So as I'm trying to get my kids safely out of the school these two think it's party time. I remind the whole class to be quiet. The rest are, not these two. So I say it again. No luck. We head outside and these two decide they are going to try and run off between parked cars. I call them back while trying to get the other 20 students safely across the street, the whole time worried that this might be the time when someone opens fire on all of us. These two still don't stop goofing off. I tell the two of them directly to "Stop talking." They don't. Then they start jumping up and down shouting, so in as stern a voice as I can I loudly say, "Stop talking!" I 100% raised my voice as there were cars outside honking cause they're upset about being inconvenienced by a school evac. Some guy in a truck starts yelling at me, jumps out of his truck, and tries to get in my face. I step back and tell him to get back in his car. He's yelling at me, "Who do I think I am yelling." About 15+ staff see this and do nothing. One male teacher walks over and just stands near me. Turns out this raging red-faced jackass is the crappy behaving kid's father. He tells me to "Do my job." I tell him, "right now my job is protecting these kids" and tell him again to get back in his truck. I tell him to set a good example and he, of course, refuses.

Now I'm in trouble. For telling an "LASER BLAST HOLE" kid that is putting his life, other student's lives, and my frakking life, at risk cause he can't shut his damn mouth.

This wouldn't be so upsetting except, the day after the Uvalde shooting a 6th grade student stood up in the middle of a lesson and acted out shooting all the kids in the class and... the principal did NOTHING. Last month a student in my class acted out shooting people out the window of the school, changing a magazine, charging a pistol, then turning and shooting the student next to him. And... you guessed it, the school did NOTHING. In fact the principal told the father in a meeting due to an unrelated incident that the student, "Is a smart boy who just needs friends". A week after the incident in my room a student came in with not one but two knives, and was sent back to class after talking to the Dean's for 10 minutes.

This year I have been verbally accosted by multiple parents. I have watched as student behavior gets worse and worse. I have watched as teachers all around this country are dying trying to protect kids. Yet, we, teachers, are the enemy in the media. We're trying to "indoctrinate" kids. Listen if I had the power to brainwash or "indoctrinate" kids, they'd have manners. They'd do all their work. They'd study for quizzes.

Overall, I can literally feel my body deteriorating. My chest pains and breathing difficulty are constants now rather than occasional. I have headaches that I've never had before. I walk through life always on the verge of tears and a full break emotional break down. I can barely focus. I am depressed worse than I've ever been.

I am well aware of the good things in my life; my wife, daughter, etc. I am well aware that others have it harder than I do. I am well aware that I am lucky to have a job, but that job is slowly killing me. Everyday gets harder and harder. I am tired of watching my professional that I have dedicated so many years of my life to be villainized in the media. I am tired of being treated like the enemy by parents when I am ACTIVELY TRYING TO PROTECT THEIR CRAPPY BEHAVING KIDS. I can tell you I will not die trying to protect kids those parents think I'm the bad guy.

Not sure what the point of all this is, maybe it's my mind's attempt at catharsis. I don't know.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2022 9:06 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 07, 2013 3:59 pm
Location: MS
i hate to hear that. i couldn't do it. i don't have the patients for any of that on a good day, let alone a terrible time like this. i'd probably been fired or worse after someone got out of a car and approached me like that.

i grew up in small towns in IN and went to "community" schools. i felt like school was a prison. i got paddled a lot. i grew up with a single mom and was an only child so i didn't have much structure at home. i think i got the board in like 1st or 2nd grade, then every few months until 10th grade or so. after that first time (maybe the principal shook my hand?) i'd always insist that the boarder shake my hand after and i'd thank them. weird kid right. after growing up and seeing schools here and other places, man i had it great.

i'll try and quote carlin "kids are like any other group of people. a couple winners and a whooole lot of losers!"

i knew you talked about teaching, but i thought you taught emt's or some other adult vocation. weather you keep at it or do something else i know you will find a way.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2022 9:40 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
I'm so sorry to hear this. It's not unique to Arizona any any stretch, but the degree to which many of our politicians here have painted teachers as public enemy number one is stomach turning.

I studied to be a teacher 20 years ago, but changed course one semester short of graduation. I realized I didn't have what it takes to be everything that students need a teacher to be day in and day out. I used to wonder if I'd made the right decision. Now I feel like I missed a bus that wound up driving off a cliff.

I hope you recover the joy you used to feel and find the support you deserve in the coming years. In the meantime, take care of yourself.

And thank you for your service.


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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Fri May 27, 2022 10:02 pm 
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DarkJedi'd

Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
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I graduated in 91 and while we had some problem kids, we never had the crap that goes on today.

I have several cousins who are teachers/admin at schools in Texas and the Midwest. I pray they never have to face recent events.

I say you might schedule a meeting to discuss your concerns, expectations, and health related issues. Maybe enough teachers will step up so change can happen.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2022 11:14 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: Virginia
Get out.

There is nothing wrong in leaving a job you no longer care for or cares for you. Maybe you can find another school to continue doing what you love or maybe a change of career is in order. We are not the generation that has to stay in a job for life. There are opportunities if you look around.

I wasn't a school teacher but I spent 20 years as a machinist. It's a trade I fell in love with in the 10th grade and pursued through 2 years of community college trade school. I am a Journeyman Machinist and have the paperwork to show for it. I hated the job. I started to hate the people I worked with. I was miserable at home and my family new it. I spent years trying to find a related job to continue using my experience with no luck. At 40 years old I got a chance at something new. Now for nearly two years my days are filled with spreadsheets and scanning documents to file in a 8 x 8 cubicle. I wouldn't trade it for a thing. I'm happier and as a result, my time at home with the family is better. Sometimes change is exactly what is needed.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2022 1:57 pm 
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Joined: Mon Oct 29, 2007 11:40 am
I left teaching too. For me, it was being in an inner-city district that wanted missionaries, not teachers and then subbing in suburban districts where every little thing, no matter how inadvertent or innocuous it was, was treated as the worst thing that could possibly happen.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2022 3:21 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: IA
I had two friends that were teachers. One lasted three years, and left. One gal lasted a year. She works retail management now and makes (no exaggeration) 20k more. Retail is crap work and unruly adults, but she says it’s nothing like having to deal with bad kids and bad parents. I’ve heard both of them tell the stories. Most of it has to do with shi**y kids behavior, and detached parenting. Terribly detached parenting. Your job is to teach the kids, the parents is to raise them.

My son has to leave the classroom sometimes and have alone time because the kids are so distracting and unruly, that he gets frustrated and cries because no one listens. So now he has to essentially go to “time out” because he gets so overwhelmed by the bad behavior.

I hope you get better man.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2022 10:01 pm 
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Sorry to hear this! I just finished my 16th year teaching, and it was the best one yet. We merged three schools, and my previous was the roughest of the three. We have a great staff and a supportive administration. It may be time for a change, but, if you love teaching, it may be in a different school/district.

I recently talked with a lady just minutes away in a different district who is unhappy with how things are at her school, so I know that there are better options out there.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Sat May 28, 2022 11:00 pm 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
Location: Maryland
The Shoe Addict is a teacher. Every school has there issues, but they tend to be different issues. The grass always seems greener but then you talk to the people there and there is always something. But I also agree with Chad, if there is enough negative stuff where you’re at and you’re reaching a breaking point, time to start looking elsewhere. A little late in the year, but someone, somewhere os already thinking about not coming back in the fall.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Mon May 30, 2022 8:50 pm 
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Joined: Wed Oct 17, 2007 5:13 pm
Location: Stamford, CT
I've been reading your comments. I am actively looking for a new school, there are a lot of open teacher positions, in NYC they go on Open Market starting in mid-April till August. So I am actively looking. But I am an expensive teacher, which is why I can't leave the 5 boroughs of NYC. My salary would be cut nearly or totally in half if I leave NYC and as the main "breadwinner" and losing half of my salary would cause us to lose everything, that's not an exaggeration, we would lose everything in a couple months. As far as switching careers entirely, there is no other job that I could do that pay what I make. Also, I am 11 years from retirement. Which would become 18 years if I switched careers or started teaching outside NYC.

That's all the stuff that goes through my head as I suffer intensifying chest pain, my asthma gets worse, my stress levels increase, and I talk another step closer to a full mental and emotional breakdown.

I do thank everyone for commenting. Right now the main thing for me is to look for a school in NYC and hope they like me and feel that I'm worth my salary.

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Tue May 31, 2022 10:33 pm 
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Good luck!

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 Post subject: Re: Having a really tough time lately
PostPosted: Sat Jun 04, 2022 5:49 am 
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Joined: Tue Jun 26, 2007 10:19 am
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Hugs

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