JOE'S
CANTINA - NEW EPISODE #7 (part 2)
Breaking the Law...
aka, our Chief concern
aka, Danny B Bad
aka, Kiss my Ash,
aka... you get the point. Lots of reveals in the finale folks...EXTREMELY PIC HEAVY!!
___
Joe's
Cantina Series FINALE (2nd post): Breaking the Law
Excerpt from the Encyclopedia Avalonia...so despite winning the war and essentially destroying that race's home world, humankind continues to hold deep-seeded prejudices against the Aqualarians, even those sects of the population who proved to be motivated to find a peaceful co-existence, and even including those who, by their actions, allied themselves to the Kingdoms of man...
Meanwhile at Joe's Cantina, preparation for the party continues
Pluv:"Place is filling up, it's exciting. Big Papa's crew is here, some of the resident Spacer's Guild too. Hope Sputnik gets here soon, the first wave of tourists from the Passenger Liner is starting to show up..."
The Monitor above the bar responded: {Yes, I can verify that the Hotel is now 105% Booked}
Pluv: "What are you talking about J-Man? 105%?"
J-Man (on Monitor): {Yes, my bad, hehe. I was working on a program that would sort out reservations to prevent double-booking... but I got sidetracked. We'll just have to double up some rooms for now.}
Pluv: "Well either way, it's nice to have you back up and manning the central interface computer. The Artifex hasn't been the same since you've been down J-Man."
J-Man: {I would have been up and running sooner, but I had this other idea for a project and I...}
Patron at bar interrupting: "J-Man? You know, I've always wondered about that. Don't you station CIC's usually have first names like Dave, or Holly or Max?"
J-Man: {You are correct, mine is JJJJJJJJJJJJJ-JJJJJJJJJJ...}
Pluv: "His name is Joe, but you can see why we call him J-Man. It's normal for the Headroom models to have glitchy interfaces... ours just seems to have them more... often?"
J-Man: {hehe. Yeah, I've been meaning to fix that, but IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII...}
The Cantina continues to fill up. Some of Ajax's crew arrives, as do some of the tourists and Spacers. Ami/AM-I works hard to take all of their orders. This much traffic at JCs is unheard of these days.
Some people have even come up from planetside to partake in the party... though the man infamously known as the "Imp Pimp" never misses the chance to recruit new talent, when a Passenger Liner passes through..."
Ami: "Can I get you folks anything?"
Dex: "Yeah, a happy pill for Papa..."
BP: "You shush that mouth boy. Ami honey, I'll have a Harbinger. Now where was I? Right, the war. It's coming, you mark my words. And one of the Kingdoms, don't matter if it's Avalonians or Elysians, but one of them gonna roll right through here and kick us out on our asses."
Dex: "Neither Kingdom gives a Frak about the Fringe Worlds."
BP: "Maybe that was true before the ore strike, but not after. There will be fighting. It will be here."
Joey: "The Kingdoms don't bother me. It's the pirates that will do us in. I had two attempted hijacks on my last Fringe run. And don't get me started on the Aqualarian bastards - the Brotherhood or whatever they call themselves."
BP: "You think they bother you now, just wait til the Brotherhood decides to join sides with one of the Kingdoms."
Random voice: "Hey they're here!"
Jonn: "...so yes, one side benefit of the hydroponics is that the air just isn't as stale here as normal station air would be, except of course for the far corners of the station, where stale air just can't be helped...which reminds me - here we are. Welcome to Joe's
Cantina...."
Tourist 1, speaking to his droid: "Ok, Brad. There's supposed to be a new gaming table opening up here tonight, go find it for me and scope out the game for me alright?"
The little TRAL Corp 101 model goes about his assigned task...
...while the man on the videophone takes note of some of the new arrivals...
Jonn: "Say, where ya from?
...
"hello?"
...
"nothing?"
More and more people arrive for the re-opening party
Serena and Chase from Ajax's crew arrive, looking noticeably different than when they are all geared up for work...
Even Officer Jonn and his new "friend" notice
As do others...
Tourist 1: "Mmm. Rasberry-Watermelon-Berry Beer...my favorite"
"Brad" reports back:
But then a hush creeps over the entire bar as a beautiful Aqualarian walks in.
She is there with Ajax and his crew, but that point is lost on the newcomers (as is the tattoo on her arm marking her as a member of the Assassin's Guild).
(Random background voices): GASP "SEE? I told you I saw one of them here earlier." "Oh my gods, I left my kids in their room alone, I have to go..."
Vox Caeda ignores the voices and proceeds to her target unhindered, though a strange man sitting alone in the corner seems suddenly anxious:
...which is also noted
As the alien woman approaches the bar, many patrons clear out of her path
{watch it shorty}
Vox leans in and whispers something inaudible in the ear of the unidentified patron, before abruptly leaving...
while the patron leaves out the back...
Pluv mingles as he waits for Sputnik to arrive and begin his so-called Holo Extravaganza...
Elsewhere, Percy Ajax and Marshal Spinner make their way from the crime scene to Joe's Cantina...
Ajax: "Ok so we know from the needler casing that the shot came from the area by the bench...but you never saw Pluvinksi in that spot. I don't get how you can be so sure he shot you."
Spinner: "Well I know he was carrying something when he ran past me, and I don't think it's a coincidence that this can of hamburgers was right next to the spent casing. We'll question him about it, but if nothing else we can have it and the casing scanned for prints or DNA."
Ajax: "ew"
Spinner: "Not that kind of DN..oh never mind."
Back at the Cantina...
Sputnik and the Space Cowboy (JM70) arrive and have a bone to pick with Pluv.
Pluv: "What's up JM?"
JM: "What's up? That is a hell of a thing for you to say to me."
Pluv looks quizzically at Sputnik, who shrugs as best a man in a robot body can.
JM: "Canned Hamburger is what is up my friend. Delicious half pound cheeseburgers that... that..."
Sputnik: "It's ok little fella, let it out"
JM: "That came
from a can?!"
Pluv: "Seriously, not a clue"
Sputnik: "He thinks the burgers you serve to customers here are from a can..."
Pluv: "He thinks this why?"
Sputnik: "Well, I might have told him that I accepted delivery of a can of them for you last night..."
Just then Spinner and Ajax walk in...
Spinner: "Hear that Percy? It is his can. That places him at the scene of the crime, in the spot I was shot from."
Ami: "Oh, boss, sorry to interrupt, but I wanted to apologize for not being here last night. I got your message. Had I known you were heading planetside, I surely would have stuck around. I just had some...thing to do...but hey, how did you get back so fast? Next shuttle isn't coming back for hours I thought..."
Spinner: "Hear
that Percy? Mr. Pluvinski just got outed for trying to plant a false alibi also. I think I've heard enough of this. J.G. Pluvinski, you are under arrest for attempted murder, assault on a law enforcement officer, and perhaps for conspiracy and insurrection as well. Or perhaps I should refer to you as Space Beav?"
JM: "Spaaaaaccceee Beeeeaaaavvv! Yeah!"
JM: "Oh, and don't forget feeding us canned hamburgers. Arrest him for that too..."
Spinner: (Staring)
Pluv: "Guys, wait, I can explain."
"You better wait for your lawyer, Pluvinski" Ajax warned.
Spinner: (Staring), mouths words: {wait for your effing lawyer?}
Ajax: (shrugs)
Just then, Officer Jonn's Comm went off: "Jonn, this is Bex Ajax. Is Percy with you?"
Percy: "Yeah, we're all here. What's up?"
Dr. Bex Ajax: "Percy, listen. I don't know what's going on over there, but I've got a drunk vagrant here who passed out right after he checked himself in."
Percy Ajax: "Yay? so what?"
Bex: ""So shut up and listen, that's what. He just woke up and confessed to shooting Marshal Spinner in the eye! Sounds like he had an old score to settle and laid there pretending to be out cold. He said pluv ran past him, dumping canned hamburger down his shirt...(do you have any idea what that's all about?), anyway he then saw the Marshal coming after pluv so he took a shot. Pluv may be a bit more unhinged than I thought, but he didn't shoot the Marshal."
The
Cantina crew listens intently and continue to eye Pluv warily.
Bex: "Oh, and Chief just got back to the station. He stopped by to pick up some stuff and volunteered to bring the vagrant to you so you could arrest him."
Pluv: "I told you I could explain..."
Spinner: "Save it Pluv, hold it til Chief gets here."
Minutes pass and the bar remains tense...well, mostly so:
"So yeah, but people just call me Ash, you know? What was your name again? So you're staying at the hotel then right?"
Meanwhile...
JM: "Hey guys, Chief is here!"
JM: "wait, nobody told me Chief was an ape..."
The chimp glares at JM: "I'm not Chief you blubbering idiot - Captain Jungleboot at your service"
JM: ...
Pluv: "shush! That's Chief there. And don't let him know you thought he was the primate, or he'll knife us all..."
Chief: "Here's your man, funny accent and all. Jonn, you'll do the honors?"
Jonn: "Hey pal, mind giving me a hand for a minute? Mister?"
Crewman: ...
Jonn: "Silent Mister? No? Why is everyone ignoring me today?"
Seeing the perpetrator brought back a flash of details into Spinner's mind:
Bex arrived behind Captain Jungleboots' crew: "So what's going on Percy? Why is everyone gathered around Pluv? I thought he was off the hook?"
Percy: "He is, but he still said he had a confession to make...Didn't you Pluv?"
Spinner: "Yeah, he's right. So if you didn't shoot me you've committed no crime. What's the big secret. And what's with the canned hamburger?"
JM: "Yeah!?!"
Spinner: (Stares at JM til he looks away)
Ajax: "And what in the hell does any of this have to do with the Beav thing? We thought maybe it was you, since we thought you were shooting at the Marshal, but if that wasn't you, what gives?"
Pluv: "Bad mistakes? I've made a few. Yeah, the canned hamburger is mine. Well, not technically mine, but I left it in that corridor."
Pluv: "And yes I lied about going down to Farhaven. And I guess maybe you can blame me for the Space Beav thing too. But I have a good excuse. I was protecting someone very close to me..."
Spinner: "Well?"
Pluv: "Have any of you trigger happy lawdogs stopped to think for even a minute that maybe your legendary Space Beav is no threat at all? Other than tonight, have there been any more crimes since that Beav graffiti showed up than there were before? Any murders? Any rebellion or insurrection?"
"no" they all replied, except for Jm "you mean other than feeding us canned hamburger?"
Pluv: "No crime? Good. Remember that. Remember it while I show you what I'm about to show you. Your 'big clue' the canned hamburger - it wasn't for me, per se... It was for someone very close to me... may I introduce you to my friend, Beav"
Gasps are heard throughout, as the entire bar takes an involuntary step backwards...
JM and Sputnik: "whooaaaa"
Sputnik: "Looks gross... Can I touch it?"
JM: "Kill it! Kill it with FIRE!!!"
Percy: "Marshal, this thing is damaging my calm"
Spinner: "Hold that thought Percy...Pluv, perhaps you could explain before anyone's calm is damaged further?"
Spinner: "So are you a mutant?"
Pluv: "No, I wasn't born this way. I've been told it's a parasite, actually. Remember how abruptly I retired from the Farhaven Fighters? This is why. We played an exhibition on old Earth. It was in the U.K. I thought I was getting fish and chips, and ended up with this instead."
Bex Ajax: "But, it's a being of it's own? Is it intelligent?"
Pluv: "ehhh-ehhh.... I guess you could say that"
Beav (in a warped accent that alternates part old south, and part Scottish) : "Oh Frak off with that then, and Frak Joe's
Cantina as well."
JM: "Ooooh, now I want one"
Sputnik: "Maybe he's actually the brains of the operation?"
Pluv: "That's the irony of it all. He's not half as smart as he thinks he is. He needs me to survive, but hates being stuck here. But since he is, he spends all day trying to coerce me to feed him bourbon, import beer, and canned hamburgers. So I guess I kept it secret out of embarrassment, but also to keep him safe. And those Beav/'Frak Joe's
Cantina' tags all over the place? They're meaningless. Whenever he tricks me into getting drunk, he takes control, heads out and starts vandalizing. There's no new revolt coming. The uprising from years ago was falsely under the Beav logo. Just a bunch of conspiracy types who wanted to link one with the other. But you all were out to lynch Beav, and I had to protect him, that's the real reason I couldn't come forward."
Bex: "You know, don't you, there is a procedure to take care of that?"
Pluv: "I know, but just the same I kind of like things just the way they are."
Pluv: "Well if everyone is happy, I think it's time for the Sputnik Holo-Extravaganza to begin. Next round is on the house!"
Pluv whispers to Ami: "Put that round on JM's tab..."
"Mr. Sputnik, you have something for us?"
{You bet your sweet ass I do...}
[The lights go dim, lasers flash, a voice introduces the greatest classical artists of all time, Mr. Paul Schafer on keyboards, Jem on lead vocals, and Lance Sputnik on lead guitar]
And the music begins: "Everybody's working for the weekend....Everybody's going off the deep end... Everybody needs a second chance, whoa..."
Sputnik: "Hey JM, watch"
JM: "What the hell is that?"
Sputnik: "I'm doing the robot!"
JM chuckles and nods his head: "Yeah, you are"
Sputnik whimpers: "Well now that's just awkward. Dick."
JM: "Hey man, you wanna go play some cards?"
Epilogue as we hear but don't see Ajax and Marshal Spinner closing out the proceedings:Ajax: "Well Marshal, you get to close the books on your final case, while I get to go take a shower and maybe come back here to play some cards."
Spinner: "No, not final. Remember I had two cold cases I could never close out. I'll enjoy a beer or two tonight in celebration of this one, but now I'm thinking I may never be able to retire until the other is complete."
Ajax: "You never said, what's the other one about."
"Remember the sign we saw in the monorail corridor? That's the one..."
Though the celebration is just beginning, something seems amiss....
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And so ends Series 1 of Tales From The Fringe: Joe's
Cantina, "The Hunt For Beavquato"
